God's Plan for the Man


If there is anything in shortage today, it is men. Not everyone who is a male is a man. You can be born a male, but it takes maturity to be a man. You are young only once, but you can be immature forever. I am talking about being a real, masculine, virile, godly man that God intended when He created us.

Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

God created man in His image, then He created female to compliment the male. In a marriage, the man and woman become one just like the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are equal, but They are not the same, and They have different roles. Men and woman are equal, but they are not the same. God made them different so they, too, could fulfill different roles.

Homosexual relationships and shacking up together pervert the image of God. That is why the devil is attacking marriage and doing all that he can do to blur the distinction between men and women. However, I am digressing.

What is God’s plan for the man? If you buy a new machine or an automobile, you get an instruction manual. God has given us an instruction manual, too. It is the Word of God and from the Word of God we will find God’s plan for the man.

Psalms 128:1-6 Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD. May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, and may you live to see your children's children. Peace be upon Israel.

(v. 1) A real man will fear the Lord and walk in His ways. This is the pattern that a husband and father is to set before his family. Although most men believe they already know how to operate the new car and never read the instruction manual, serious mistakes can be made by doing that. Errors that are even more serious are committed if a man does not read and follow God’s instruction manual. A real man will fear the Lord and the consequences of willful ignorance, and not only read the Bible, but obey what it says. Such a man is wise.

Prov 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

In the home, the man is to be a picture of our Father in Heaven to his children, and the Lord Jesus Christ to his wife. However, he cannot do that without an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, the grace of God, and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Men, listen. Don’t ever get the idea that religion and spirituality is primarily for the woman and the children.  God puts a bigger responsibility on the man than on a woman. A man is to be the priest of his home. And if your home is not right, you are the primary reason; not your wife and not the children. Men, we are the head of the home. Many of us have turned that responsibility over to our wives. But that doesn’t change what God’s Word teaches. Even if we abdicate our position as head of the home, God still holds us responsible for how our home turns out.

Again, the reason this is so serious is that fathers are modeling before their family what God the Father is like and what the Lord Jesus Christ is like. While God the Father and God the Son are co-equal, God the Father is the head of God the Son. And while the husband and the wife are co-equal, the husband is the head of the wife, just like Christ is the Head of His Bride, the Church. The man models Christ and the woman models the church, the bride of Christ. They are one.

Phil 3:17 Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. Do not depart from this pattern, because v. 2 says in essence, if we walk in His ways, we will reap blessings and prosperity.

Gal 6:7-9 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

God’s plan for the man is to provide for his family. This goes all the way back to the fall of mankind in Genesis 3:19 By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return."

God said it’s not going to be easy to be a provider, and that provision goes beyond food, clothing, and housing. It is more than giving our kids things and putting our wife in a beautiful house. We are also to provide the emotional and spiritual security of our home. Unfortunately, we have a generation of males today that has forgotten these principles.

A real man that fears God and walks in His ways receives God’s blessing. Furthermore, his wife and children are blessed. The blessing goes beyond his family. The blessing goes to the community and ultimately to a nation if men will devote themselves to Jesus Christ. America will never be right until our homes are right. Our homes will never be right till the men get right.

Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

There are gods at war for our souls. We will serve one or more of them. Who will you choose? God’s plan is for man to determine: “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

In verse 3, the home is a picture of a wife like a tender vine and the children like olive plants. Do you know what they have in common? They need to be cared for. They need to be cultivated. How men tend to them and cultivate them determines what kind of fruit they will produce.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

That means don’t provoke them, frustrate them, lie to them, wound them, or humiliate them. God is love. Fathers are to demonstrate love towards their children while he trains them. Whether you are aware of it or not, brothers, we are training our children—for good or for evil by what we do.

The word for training here is the idea of carefully tending a garden, weeding, watering, and fertilizing. It takes discipline, instruction, demonstration, patience, and it takes knowledge. We cannot bring our children up in the training and instruction of the Lord if we haven’t read the instruction manual, and if we aren’t doing what It says. Children learn by watching what we do more than by what we say.

Training also takes much time. I read that the average father spends 7 ½ minutes per week with his teenagers. Their excuse is they don’t have time. That really means they just don’t care. We make time for the things that are most important to us. Psychologists tell us that if a father does not spend time with his daughter, her chances of becoming promiscuous are greatly increased. The same is true for sons. Josh McDowell said “rules without relationships make rebellion”.

How can you cultivate your wife? Eph 5:25-33 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Husbands, do you know your chief assignment from God concerning your wife? It is to make her a more radiantly, beautiful Christian by loving her and caring for her spirit, soul, and body. To do that, we must give up our lives to make her holy, just like Christ gave up His life to make us holy. That is why the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the Church. We are to wash our wife with the Word of God by reading it and performing it. If she is not reading it herself, read it to her in a loving, caring way. Talk about the Word and be an encourager rather than a critic.

Some say, well, my wife and I just believe in mutual submission. That’s a contradiction in terms. Christians in general are to mutually submit to one another, but in the home there’s headship. Anything with no head is dead, and anything with two heads is a freak! Husband, we are to be the pastor in our home, not a tyrant. Our wife is looking for leadership, not abuse. If we do not provide headship for her (that is provision, protection, and pastoring) where is she to find it, in the arms of another man?

Again, God established this relationship between the man and the woman after the fall of mankind. Gen. 3:16 To the woman he said, “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.”

The great problem in America today is not primarily rebellious women. The great problem in America is failing men. Now there are some rebellious women. I hope you’re not married to one of them. But the great problem is primarily men failing to be the men that they ought to be. They do not fear the Lord nor walk in His ways. They are either lazy, self-centered, or spending their time seeking wealth.

Ask yourselves this question, men, what is wealth? If you need an answer, look in verse 6 (and may you live to see your children's children.). Wealth is seeing children that love God and love their parents. Children don’t make a rich man poor, they make a poor man rich. The rich man can’t take his money to Heaven, but a godly man can ensure his kids go to Heaven. He can do the same for his grandkids too. A man’s wealth is that his entire family will all be together in Heaven for eternity.

Therefore, men, we must be transparent about our faith. We must love the Lord and we must not keep it private. There are many children who never see their father kneel and pray. Some never see their father. What they need to see in their father is a man who not only talks about God, but who talks and walks with God. Now transparency means that our children will also see us make mistakes and sin. At those times, it is important for them to see that we humble ourselves, and admit we are wrong. They will learn how a man repents and how God changes a man through repentance.

Also, a man, who is transparent to his family, is a man who allows them to see him laugh when he is happy, and cry when he is sad. It is not un-masculine or unchristian to do that. They should see us go to the Lord for grace to deal with stress and trials in life, because our world is filled with these things. They should see us pray over decisions that we must make, because they will have to make those same decisions some day. They need to learn how to relate to the opposite sex as they watch us relate to their mother. They need to learn how to handle failure and how to handle finances.

Titus 2:7-8 In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

It is time for fathers to become real men, but more than that - to become God’s man - to become a man who is not ashamed to love God, his wife, and his children - to be genuine and transparent before them - to work hard - to provide for them - to be authentic - to be holy and righteous before them - to be the spiritual leader in the home. But more than that, to be a leader that would set their feet on the right path and cause them to be the kind of people God made them to be. That’s what our Heavenly Father did for us. He sent His Son, Jesus Christ to redeem us and lead us in the Truth and the Way of Life.

Jesus said in John 13:15-17 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.